Nurture A Calm Mindset

“We are often so focused on trying to fix our weaknesses that we neglect to nurture our passions and strengths.” - Jo Miller

The action of nurturing is providing care and attention to something so it can grow or develop. Unbeknownst to us, we often find ourselves nurturing a cluttered mind filled with heavy baggage from the past and present. This baggage weighs heavily on us, forcing us to move through life feeling sluggish and drained. Even worse, it develops and grows. We inadvertently give voice to the parts of our minds that we wish to quiet.

To find this quiet and unpack this heavy load we have been caring, we must shift our focus to nurturing the parts of our minds that give us energy and purpose. Doing this means engaging in a paradigm shift focused on a calm mindset instead of a chaotic one.

Take your journal or a notepad, and follow the self-assessment prompts below with the intent of allowing yourself the opportunity to walk the path of a peaceful mind.

Self Assessment Prompts:

1. When you hear the word “nurture,” what comes to mind? Jot down the sights, sounds, and smells you experience when you hear this word.

2. Is there a task you’re putting off because it makes you nervous? Break down that task into smaller, more achievable steps. Does it still feel overwhelming?

3. If you’re holding onto guilt, what would happen for you to let the responsibility go?

4. What would you do if you had no expectations from your inner or outer world?

5.  What is a habit or activity that improves your mood? When was the last time you did it? Write about what happens to you when you engage in this habit or activity.

6.  Create a list of your victories today, no matter how small or big.

7.  Take a moment and think about the best advice you were given. What was it? Who gave it to you? Could you use it? Why or why not?

8. Take a moment to examine your hands. Notice the lines, the shapes, and the colors. Are there scars? Are the nails manicured or natural? What comes to the surface of your thoughts when you notice your hands? Write these thoughts down.

On a new page, follow the prompts below to better understand what your idea of a calm mind looks like. Diving deeper allows us to get a clearer picture.

Diving Deeper Prompts:

1. What scares me…

2. I can let go of…

3. Right now, I am…

4. How do I know I feel safe?

5. What if I succeed?

6. What if I was forgiven?

7. What does hope feel like?

Finally, throughtou the weeks, take a moment to engage in a mindful exercise meant to clear out internal noise and develop better understanding of what gives us energy and purprose:

6 Exercises:

1. Calm: When our minds are cluttered, words that inspire us and provide serenity often trigger us to become nervous, angry, and exasperated. This is often due to the relationship we have with these different words. One such word is “calm.” A word meant to identify tranquility is usually only ever introduced when we are far from tranquil. Have you had someone tell you to calm down? It doesn’t work, does it? To take our first step in unpacking our heavy load, we must reflect on our relationship with calm.

   1. Ask yourself what the word “calm” means to you?

   2. When do you see it? When do you feel it?

   3. Could you recognize it during your waking or sleeping moments?

   4. Do you avoid it?

   5. Do you believe it is unobtainable?

2. After Action Review: It is natural to feel regret. Our response to it, however, often includes harboring thoughts of self-doubt and assigning blame. Regret is an influential teacher. Let’s use it to help clear out mental clutter about the situation that brought it to the surface. This exercise aims to learn from the past to plan for a better outcome in the future. Ask yourself these questions to see what lessons you should learn from regretful actions:

   1. What did I expect to happen?

   2. What actually happened?

   3. Was the unfavorable outcome avoidable?

   4. What can I do differently next time?

   5. How can I hold myself accountable to change?

3. Drowning In Thoughts: Our heavy mental burden can begin to outweigh our ability to carry it. We are submerged in emotional turmoil until we become overwhelmed. Very much like we are drowning. When we are submerged under the mental load’s waters, we forget that there is a source which this flood is coming from. Therefore, we must evaluate where the source of our overwhelm is coming from.

   1. What were you doing, saying, or feeling before the impending doom of overwhelm started to take place? This could be a trigger.

   2. Were you responding to an emotional threat? Was it an actual threat, a perceived threat, or both?

   3. Does overthinking increase the feeling of overwhelm?

   4. Does emotional numbing increase the feeling of overwhelm?

   5. What are your resources and supports to prevent overwhelm? Do you access them?

4. Evaluating The Necessary: Like becoming overwhelmed by our mental load, we often compound this experience and feeling with an actual task load. Whether we don’t trust the people around us to get the job done right or don’t have the skillsets to ask for assistance, we often drown in duties and chores. We make arbitrary rules about task completion to gauge our productivity, which increases the mental burden. For example, when doing the dishes, we must do them all, not just what we need. To prevent overwhelming ourselves with tasks, we must evaluate if our chosen properties are essential for our happiness. When we can decide which tasks are crucial and which can be postponed, we can open up engage to engage in more fun and freedom opportunities.

   1. Are you taking on too much? How would you know if you were?

   2. Are you using the “should” statement for situations that aren’t dire?

   3. If you compare your to-do list to your friends, is your list the same, more, or less? How about with family or coworkers? What do you think this comparison tells you about yourself and the people you surround yourself with?

   4. When do you ask for assistance? How would you know when you need help?

   5. When you complete a task, do you feel accomplished or move on down your list? When do you acknowledge your hard work? Do you allow others to acknowledge your hard work?

5. The Practice of Gratitude: Gratitude is the act of thankfulness and appreciation, and when we practice it regularly, we can physically change our brains to think more openly and creatively. Take time to reflect on what you’re grateful for. Make sure you highlight various areas in your life that you wish to show gratitude towards.

   1. Who are you grateful for?

   2. What are you grateful for?

   3. What inside yourself are you grateful for?

   4. When do you show yourself gratitude?

   5. Choose one person today to whom you will express gratitude to.

   6. Choose one thing about yourself today that you will choose to express gratitude toward.

6. Refocus and Restructure: Mindfulness meditation is an act of being aware of the present moment and our consciousness. If mindfulness meditation is new to you, know that its purpose and goal allow you to view and experience your inner world without judgment. Find a quiet space to sit upright or lay down in. Take a deep breath through your nose for 5 seconds, hold it for 7, and release it for 10 while signing. Repeat this breathing exercise 4 more times. As you do this, notice your thoughts. Notice what pops into your head. Acknowledge it, say hello, then center yourself back to your breathing.

   1. What words swam through your head as you were breathing?

   2. Did you focus more on your breath or your thoughts?

   3. Were you able to center yourself with your breathing?

   4. How did your body respond to patterned breathing?

   5. How did your body respond to signing when breathing?

“Set peace of mind as your highest goal, and organize your life around it.” - Brian Tracy

Did you try these activities in order to nurture a calm mindset? Please let us know in the comment section below!

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